Progress Report #2: Perspective and Trivial Pursuits

IMG_0386Perspective.

At the end of the day, it comes down to perspective.

I’ll begin by reporting that the newly acquired notebooks served their intended purpose. They brought back a linear quality to my journey and the hope that life was moving forward in a line that while not necessarily straight as an arrow at least curved only so much that I could still see what lurked around the corner.

But I forgot to look out for what was coming up from behind.

I practice working with this affirmation. Repeating it provides a momentary lift.

It’s difficult to write about trivial pursuits while mothers with their babies fight for life and then drown anyway.   It’s difficult to write about trivial pursuits when families walk together for days, when fathers mourn and when countries build fences around their borders. It’s difficult.

My NCLP and I join a local gym this month.

While our collective heart breaks with the images coming from CNN, as an individual I feel stripped of power. Prayer is not enough and the feeling of impotence agitates. It’s easier to ignore. It’s easier to believe that someone else will choose rightly.

I acquire a Fitbit from a woman who is trading up to an Apple Watch.

Home and family.

Nothing else matters.

I visit the gym four or five days a week for a cardio workout.

I record the food I am lucky to eat each day on the Fitbit.

I learned more about my family of origin this month and in the process woke ghosts that were better off sleeping. And somehow the news about my past impacts my future. The two are intertwined – my abandoned childhood and the cravings of a heart. I’m struggling to loosen the knot and to see that they are separate.

I recognize the blessing of trivial pursuits.